Not mine... The Invitation by Oriah Mountain Dreamer

The Invitation
It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon...
I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true.
I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,“Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.

I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.

I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.

I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.

I wrote a Haiku 10 minutes ago...

I have been working on this Artist's Way book in earnest this time. Not that I didn't make a serious effort the last time, but life got in the way, and I didn't like poking around in my brain and my emotions so much. However, this time I am a stronger person and am more willing to acknowledge my weaknesses and talk with myself about what it is that gets in my way. The Censor. That little voice of judgement in my mind... I'm willing to get to the bottom of it this time.

Last night it really reared its ugly head. This week I am to deprive myself of reading and avoid all of my normal outlets of distraction. This is not making me as crazy as I thought it would. When I stand there and think about reading, and realize that I am not 'allowed' I can easily find something else I could be doing. I am listening to more pop music in the past few days than I have in a decade. (Here's a plug for www.pandora.com - amazing site.) I have thrown out half my closet that I never wear and old sleep shirts and rearranged the furniture... and last night I found a great idea for my high school show shirts and other sundries. I could cut them up and sew them together and then to the back of my high school throw. WOW! Brilliant! Immediately then I was seized by this thought in my head... what would my mother think of me ruining that throw like that?!

SHUT UP! I was stunned and couldn't believe that my mother is such a censor to me. After all, I usually don't give her much thought. But here she was stifling a perfectly good creative idea and a way to preserve my past in a meaningful way. Hmmph. Well, see if I listen to her again.

Ooh! and last night I decided to be really honest and write down my desires with no censor. No judgement of whether or not I think it's worthwhile or insipid. I just wrote it down. There are things there like, "I want to make more snow angels."

And then this afternoon I wanted to poetic away message about the rain... First, I looked for one via google, and could not find one to suit. (I momentarily forgot that I wasn't allowed to read.) I knew what I wanted and couldn't find one to suit. Now I know it seems obvious, but suddenly I decided that I could in fact write my own. I didn't have to judge the merit. I could just do it and let it make me happy. So I did. HA! Look at me go.

And then... I went and blogged! What is this world coming to?!!??!?